Insanity
by Jolinar773
Summary: It isn't love, only a little lapse of judgement... fleeting moment of insanity.


**Hello again! :)**

**This little drabble comes as a request from a dear friend, who also proofread this for me - dib07! Thank you!**

**As usual, I do not own ToV or any of its characters (what a shame!), don't make profit from writing all this stuff...**

**This is rated M for a reason, warnings for sexual content, yaoi lemon - male x male sex - which means don't like, don't read, I warned you! Otherwise this is my first Yuri/Raven fic, although I really can't see this ever happening... still it was fun to write, hope you're all gonna enjoy it!**

**Reviews are most welcome =3**

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><p>He couldn't take it anymore. No matter how many times the Guilds got together, since Don Whitehorse's death it always turned up the same - the five master guilds bickering over every stupidity and the smaller ones trying to rip some of the vacant spotlight for themselves. Not even Harry's succeeding his grandfather as the leader of Altosk could change things much, and though the boy was strong and finally realized that this was the best solution, still so much pressure rested on his shoulders, he just couldn't keep all the others at bay the way the Don's reputation alone did for all those years.<p>

And Yuri Lowell _hated_ this one particular aspect of being a member of a guild most of all. He had rather short fuse, he knew, it used to get him into a lot of trouble back when he were little,and after growing up the situation remained pretty much the same - only now the Knights were actually handing out warrants on his head and he recalled spending more time in prison than roaming free. Still, even though this wasn't the capital, it wouldn't do any good to blow up in the middle of a Guilds meeting; it would only create more problems for Karol as the Brave Vesperia guild master. So, rather than sitting there, listening to their never-ending wrangling, Yuri stood up, bid good luck to the young, dark-haired boy and without giving him a chance to protest he left the Union Headquarters for the busy streets of Dahngrest, bathing in the crimson light of sun setting over the guild city rooftops, setting them ablaze.

He took a lungful of fresh air, still redolent of storm raging for the whole last night, strange mixture of exotic flowers and delicious foods, and his stomach suddenly made a rumbling sound, which caused the swordsman to remember he hadn't eaten anything since the previous evening. There was simply no time for such trivialities.

Repede's wishful whine by his side conjured a small smile on his face and he sighed, following his faithful hound to the Sagittarius Tavern to emerge again about an hour later, stomach so full of delicious curry, the only thing Yuri now wanted was to lie down and take a nice, long nap. Even his sour mood had gone.

"What do you say, Repede? Heading back to the Inn?" he asked, hand resting casually on his hip as he looked around the still-jostling crowds of Fortune's Market merchants with their stalls lining the towering buildings around, jumping up and down to serve their customers' every whim.

The pooch looked up at his friend, giving him a whine and a bark before turning his head and running away to the opposite direction. Yuri watched his swinging tail disappear around a corner, shaking his head.

"Alright, go ahead," and decided to make his way through the bustling mob in search for a good, quiet spot to rest.

It wasn't easy. Dahngrest has always been the kind of city that never sleeps, so despite the late hour, there were still so many people running about their business, even the Inn didn't feel like calming down anytime soon.

Wandering aimlessly around for another half an hour, Yuri finally stopped at the southern bridge leading out of the city. He leaned onto the stone railing, sweeping unruly strand of long, black hair behind his ear; dark, obsidian eyes streaked with just a hint of deep-violet, settled on the bodhi blastia around his wrist.

It seemed like yesterday when he stood at this very spot with Estelle, protecting the princess from Phaeroh before Heracles made its appearance and drove the ancient Entelexeia away, destroying part of the bridge in the process. Yet already five long years have passed since they set out to save Terca Lumireis. Five years, since they robbed people of the comfort of blastia by converting the cores into spirits. Five years, since the former Knight Commandant Alexei died at the very top of the Shrine of Zaude, after unleashing a catastrophe onto this world that had almost destroyed them all.

He wouldn't survive all those battles if it weren't for this little thing, and though it no longer worked, he still kept it. Wearing it like a talisman; something to remind him of the past they all had left behind when they began their journey. Maybe out of sentiment? He didn't know, and neither did he care. But...

Suddenly, Yuri took in his surroundings as if he'd seen everything for the first time. So much has changed since then - people learned to rely on technology based on mana and it served them as good as the blastia, maybe even better. The spirits chose to disappear, watching over mankind from afar, while ensuring the Adephagos -or anything like it- will never come again. Only Undine, Efreet, Gnome and Sylph still remained tightly bound to Estelle, and the rumours spreading about the birth of the four spirits -exaggerated as they were with each re-telling- earned her much respect and love, and on many occasions the people would just refer to her as Estellise the Summoner, which still made the princess somehow uneasy.

Yuri chuckled to himself at the memory, tilting his head up to see the star, Brave Vesperia, shining brightly within the skies tinted with pink and tangerine, steadily darkening to the deepest shade of indigo.

And that was when he saw it - a shadow standing on the rooftop facing the centre of the city, silhouetted against the last orange and scarlet rays of sun disappearing within the heavy blankets of the horizon.

And he found it familiar.

Lazily bouncing off the railing, smirk etched into his handsome, pale face, Yuri Lowell retraced his steps back into the city, adamant to find out what's going on this time.

o*O*o

The evening breeze felt refreshing, and as he was looking over the intricate maze of streets and alleys beneath him, it made him feel like he were flying, weightless, watching the people with all their joys and worries with somehow otherworldly detachment. Like he didn't even belong into their world; and perhaps he truly did not. At least that was what he liked to think. They were people swayed by the raging flow of their emotions - love, hate, jealousy, compassion... all those he had long since forgotten and no longer even cared to remember. Those were not meant for a dead guy like him.

He closed his eyes for few moments, feeling the smooth texture of a single rose petal between his fingers, remembering these were_ that man's _favourite. Sea-blue eyes focused on it, thumb rolling over the remainder of the once noble flower he had bought on a whim, not really pondering about what he was doing.

And that simple gesture made him recall so many things; he wished he had just walked away. What was he thinking anyway? Nothing, apparently, as was usually the case the last few years. Because if he were, he wouldn't have made so many mistakes...

"I'm sorry." the apology came out no more than a whisper, lost in the gentle breeze caressing his skin and winding through his hair, tied into a pineapple-like ponytail at the back of his head. "In the end, I couldn't do anything." and then he let go, sea-blue eyes following the scarlet petal as it was carried away by the wind, until it disappeared into the coming night.

He realized Alexei had his faults, more and more so as time went by, before he had completely lost his way and became that man crushed underneath the giant core of Zaude. But that couldn't change who the Commandant used to be until then - a hero, a friend... a lover.

But...

He drew his purple haori closer to his body and heaved a sigh, looking up into the indigo darkness spreading as far as an eye could see. Hand reached up to rest on the blastia heart humming contentedly, shining mildly under the soft fabric of violet shirt. Today, it's been precisely fifteen years since he had awakened to an unwelcoming chill of an underground lab, finding this wretched thing replacing the heart he had lost barely days earlier along with his life as Damuron Atomais. He remembered it as if it happened only yesterday - the moment he realized what Alexei had done to him and tried to rip that which bound him to life out of his chest. Alexei was there as well, seeing what Raven was doing and his words became chains, together with the new name he was given, leashing the archer tightly to his new master so that it has taken him more than ten years and many, many terrible mistakes to break free again.

"Finally ready to jump, old man?" a voice carried to him from somewhere behind his back. "I'd prefer the river, though. You'll make a mess if you get squashed on the street."

It surprised Raven only slightly, pulling him out of his reverie, though his reaction was as exaggerated as always when he turned around, still holding his blastia as if he's just gone through a near-death experience.

"Hey, ya can't scare me like that young'un! Almost got a heart attack here!" he sat down, faking dizziness, finding himself grateful for this small distraction. "And yer 'spposed to drag me away 'n say how it's all gonna be good if we talk it over!"

Yuri waved his hand in dismissal. "Yeah, sure. Whatever." and lazily strolled towards the raven-haired archer, taking a seat beside him. "So what's up, then? If you're not gonna jump, what are you doing on the roof?" he tried with implied indifference, though Raven knew better. The swordsman wouldn't ask at all if he didn't honestly care to hear the answer.

"Out fer a bit o' peace 'n quiet, y'know." Raven refused to give it to him; they may have been friends for five years now, but the archer still wasn't quite ready to share the past that still hurt more than he cared to admit.

But Yuri wasn't stupid. After all those years, he pretty much learnt the old man's habits by heart and could now tell with complete certainty, that when that fake accent of his got this pronounced, he attempted to steer the conversation with his usual lies. And Yuri -not used to being pushy as he were- did not intend to force the matter, though it hurt just a little bit that after all this time, there was still so little trust between them.

"You've got that right." he sighed with contentment instead, lying down on his back, hand supporting the back of his head as he looked into the now completely inky-black sky, illuminated only by garlands of stars winking back at him and a silver pearl of a full moon.

The clear sight still tended to feel somewhat odd at times like this, without the ever-present glow of a barrier blastia.

Silence ruled between them here, where the noise from the streets below couldn't reach and though Yuri looked as if he were dozing off, he could still feel more than hear Raven fidgeting nearby as if he wanted to say something. And he truly did, only felt unsure about what precisely, and how to go on about it. And it made the archer quite uncomfortable.

Finally giving in to the awkward atmosphere, Raven shivered and got up, wrapping his haori tighter around his body. "Gettin' cold." he said quite unnecessarily. "Think I'll go someplace warmer." he turned to Yuri -the swordsman's dark frame resting idly against the hard tiles- and hesitated for a single heartbeat before realizing he was no longer a child no matter how Raven looked at him. "Hey! Let's go fer a drink!"

This made Yuri tilt his head. "Huh?" he scrutinized Raven's darkened silhouette as if the man just asked him out on a date, and sat up. "Where did that come from, old man?"

The former Knights Captain's face split in a crooked grin and he scratched the back of his head. "C'mon, it's gonna be fun! The night's still young and the ladies are waitin'!" and with a song in his step belying his age, he jumped down the ladder Yuri used earlier to climb onto the roof.

Without fully understanding why the hell he was doing this, the long-haired youth got to his feet and followed, feeling an unexplainable obligation to at least look over the old man today. As if he were afraid Raven might do something stupid. It wouldn't be the first time, after all. But today, something's been bothering him more than usual and Yuri wasn't the sort to just let his friends' distress slip out of mind without even trying to ease it a bit. Though he didn't like alcohol, at least he'll be there to make sure the old man behaves.

He did not yet know how very wrong he was.

Finding the Crimson Stars tavern crammed, so that there was barely enough space to move around, Raven immediately disappeared within the crowd, and Yuri watched with amazement as all of them welcomed him with hearty bear hugs, patting on the shoulder or smacking on the back; in ladies' case kisses on the cheek as well as lips, as far as Yuri could tell, which seemed to have made the archer sweetly embarrassed more than happy. Once again, Yuri was reminded of how inexperienced his companion was - though truth be told, he's never gone drinking with the old man before in the first place.

And he'll make sure _never_ to do such terrible mistake _ever again._

"You sure it's this way, old man? It looks-" but the rest of Yuri's words were never meant to be heard, because the living baggage he's been carrying the whole way from the tavern made a very eloquent sound and the swordsman had a hard time remaining somewhat steadily standing, while avoiding getting his clothes dirty at the same time, when Raven yet again emptied the contents of his stomach over the railing they were just passing.

"Man, I told you to give it up! Should've just let you sober up in the gutter." he murmured with slightly disgusted expression on his face, throwing one of the archer's arms over his shoulder once more and hoisting him up from where he were bent over the balcony.

Sea-blue eyes, now reddened and somewhat glassy searched for his. "Now ish that shome way ta talk to yer eldersh?" their raven-haired owner managed, lisping slightly as they once again set out towards his room. "Had ta drink your share too, ya know."

"Nobody forced you to!" Yuri retorted, turning a corner; half carrying, half dragging Raven along.

"Couldn't shay no to such pretty lady now, could I?" the archer murmured with an idiotic smile on his face, apparently remembering the past events.

They spent almost the whole night in the Crimson Stars tavern, and still more and more people kept gathering around, challenging Raven to one drinking contest after the other. Some even tried to coax Yuri into joining them, though he made sure to properly refuse. He wouldn't let them have the satisfaction of seeing him drunk, since he had very little tolerance for alcohol, which was one of the main reasons he did all he could to avoid it, getting into a fight instead towards the end. Though it didn't prevent Raven from getting persuaded by the sad and disappointed faces of some of the ladies, when the swordsman said no and eventually ending up wolfing down about twice the amount of sake the others had put together. It was a miracle he still hadn't drowned in all that booze.

"Don't see why not." Yuri growled, feeling his legs shaking under the weight of the almost-unconscious man slumped over his back, and to his immense relief they finally made it to the end of the corridor and Raven made another sound that probably meant this could be his room.

Well, even if it wasn't, Yuri refused to carry him any further than this.

Fortunately, it was empty when they entered. It was a simple place, very much reminding the long-haired youth of his own room back in Zaphias Lower Quarter with its single window facing the river, bed that hasn't been slept in for ages and an old wooden table in the corner with an old oil-lantern.

Yuri dropped the drunk archer onto the bed, fumbling through the darkness for something to light it with. It didn't take long to find a gadget obviously of Rita's making -since the genius girl managed to make quite a name for herself over the last five years, inventing stuff like this to replace the no longer functioning blastia- and all it took was pushing a button and a small flame appeared at the tip, jumping to the wick as soon as Yuri reached inside the lamp.

The little light made quite the difference and as Yuri looked around a bit more, his eyes were almost immediately drawn to a glass vase right next to a shelf full of variously colored bottles. He recognized the single flower blossoming within - long velvety petals that seemed to burn brightly whenever they caught even the slightest glimmer of light. There was no doubt about it, it was a fire lily.

Low grunt of pain made Yuri turn around, scowl still etched onto his face. Raven lay curled on his bed, arms wrapped around his body, now visibly shivering. Without further ado, Yuri moved to rummage through the bottles neatly stashed above the table and managed to fish out a Syrup bottle, handing it over to the softly whimpering archer.

He downed it in a single gulp with just a little help from Yuri, and for a moment, it looked like the liquid soothed his throat and made him feel a lot better. However, when he opened his mouth to speak, his eyes grew to the size of small saucers, face suddenly turned a very unhealthy shade of green, and within seconds he jumped up and dashed into the bathroom at such amazing speed, Yuri couldn't help but to laugh.

"'S not nice ta be mean, young'un." the raven-haired former knight shambled into view about half an hour later, after good and properly getting most of the alcohol out of his system in all possible ways, grabbing the doorsill for support, still looking like a mess despite taking his time with a cleansing, steaming hot shower. Simple, flower-patterned yukata covering his now squeaky clean body did nothing to improve the splitting headache or the condition of his stomach. "Let's see how ya do it when yer my age."

Yuri bounced off the wall he's been leaning against while he waited and gave a snort. "I'm gonna make sure never to get into that sorry state in the first place."

Raven only grunted back, ignoring strands of wet raven hair plastered to his head and curtaining his face, obscuring the vision, placing one foot in front of the other with the intention to somehow make it back to the bed. He failed miserably as soon as he made the second step, weaving unsteadily, and he would have hit the floor hard, if it wasn't for a pair of arms catching him gently but firmly before he fell. Unfortunately, Yuri launched at such a weird angle, he had lost his footing as well and both of them toppled over with a thud, the swordsman hitting the back of his head, while the other's fall was broken by his body.

Wincing with pain, lungs momentarily deprived of air, when he looked up it was to a pair of bright, sea-blue orbs bearing into his own with obvious interest. He could feel warmth rising to his cheeks and for some reason another very much familiar sensation spreading just a little bit lower.

"Is there something on my face, old man, or what?" he ignored all of it in favour of his traditional demeanour, suddenly very conscious of his being pinned down under the older man's broader frame, still heated up from the shower.

"Actually yeah, those bruises look pretty ugly." Raven's brows knitted together in concentration as he scrutinized the little remainders of Yuri's recent brawl, which would have gotten them thrown out of the Crimson Stars tavern even if it wasn't for his already making enough fuss with the ladies.

The swordsman frowned up at him. "Yeah, well thanks for worrying, I'd make sure to do something about them if you weren't insisting on making a pillow out of me."

Confident his words were sufficient for the old man to pick up the hint, Yuri did not expect any of what happened next, and neither would he ever dream of finding himself in such a situation. However here he was, immobile underneath a certain old pervert in his early forties, whom he had known for years as quite the ladies man leering at anything with big enough breasts, though fainting the moment he could actually see all of it...

... but however hard he tried, he couldn't deny the sensation of hot, moist lips pressed against his own. And Raven seemed aware of the train of the swordsman's thoughts as well, though he looked as shocked and surprised by what he was doing as the younger man himself.

What might have been hours had passed before any of their brains kicked back online, though what would probably become an awkward silence under different circumstances, turned out to be more of a realizing contemplation. For some reason everything suddenly made perfect sense.

"Man, you're so drunk you can't even tell me from a woman after five years of knowing each other?" the serene self-confidence under toning his voice helped Yuri slid back to his usual flippant self.

Raven slightly shook his head to avoid unnecessary pain, though not breaking eye-contact. "Nah, I can tell alright."

"Then what are you doing?" came out a prompt counter-attack, and the old man's cheeks now positively burned.

"Just curious what it feels like?" he tried with a sheepish expression and watched a single black eyebrow rise in suspicious amusement.

"And?" Yuri dared, poking the sleeping dragon further just for the fun of it. He never had any sense of shame to begin with, and since there was nothing better to do anyway, this might make for a pretty good pastime.

The raven-haired archer frowned again, obviously deep in thought. "Already forgot, can I try again?"

For the life of them, neither would be able to tell which one took the initiative or how they ended up the way they did. However barely seconds later the bed creaked in protest against their combined weight as they flopped onto the white sheets, Raven spread eagle on his back with Yuri straddling his hips.

Dark hair flowing around his face and shoulders, he leaned over the older man, sly smile clearly curling his lips. Fathomless, obsidian eyes gleamed with desire from beneath long, dark lashes and his slender, agile body pressed against the one underneath him fully when mouths connected once more with a wordless promise of heaven itself.

Lips parted for probing tongues coiling round each other in struggle for dominance, before settling for simple caresses and the sheer sensation of the other's taste. Hands wrapped around the body, mapping, copying and remembering every curve of every muscle, while clothes were being regarded a mere nuisance and dealt with accordingly.

Focusing on showing Raven the best time he ever had before he sobers up and begins to regret this, just like everyone else the swordsman had taken to his bed, Yuri let himself go, roaming and exploring the tanned skin lined with scars that only added to its wild, untamed beauty. Leaving the sweetness of Raven's mouth, he dragged the tip of his tongue along flushed cheek to plant a kiss and bite on the vulnerable earlobe, coaxing out just the reaction he expected. He smiled to himself, revelling in the alluring sound of the archer's clipped breathing, finding himself wishing, hungering to hear more of it. To _feel_ more of that body arching to his ministrations as he moved to trace the prominent clavicle, until he reached the edge of the hermes blastia keeping him alive.

Yuri's lips followed the cold metal to where the blood-red core was pulsing, where a heart should be thumping madly against the ribs right now, and he breathed gently but teasingly against it, hot breath caressing the shining jewel that still kept fascinating him no matter how long he had known its owner. To his surprise, Raven went rigid at once and for a moment Yuri though he screwed up, but then the former knight relaxed again, shivering from head to foot from a sensation he thought impossible and couldn't describe with words, even if he had enough breath to do so.

Instead, he reached out to slide his hands up the sensual curves of the young swordsman's beautifully naked thighs and hips, tracing the slightly sharpened edges of his spine to wind through a curtain of dark, silky hair. Yuri answered with a contented hum, abandoning the fascinating structure of the hermes blastia in favour of kissing and caressing his way south, leaving a moist trail in the wake of his exploring tongue, pausing for a little while to circle the small belly button, which brought out yet another groan of pleasure. Nuzzling against the sensitive skin of the pelvic bone, he felt uncharacteristically giddy, like he hadn't in years. He became aware of unexplainable craving, longing for touch, kiss and words of affection and it unnerved him at the same time it made his heart throb with need.

Finding himself at a loss of what to do with those contradicting feelings, Yuri simply shut them away for now, focusing solely on trailing his hands over Raven's hips, applying just enough pressure to make the man move a little higher to rest his back against a pillow.

The archer obeyed gladly, disentangling one hand from Yuri's long hair to prop himself up on his elbow, and then the rest of the little sanity he still might have possessed went straight to hell as the young man swept his dark strands to the side and over his shoulder to get it out of the way, settling himself comfortably between Raven's legs before wrapping his hand around the archer's hard, burning length and sliding the flat of his tongue tentatively from base to tip, planting a small peck at the little slit, already starting to leak.

Raven gasped for air at the sensation, eyes dilated with desire so that only a thin rim of sea-blue remained on the edges, and he watched, strangely captivated, as the sinful mouth and tongue repeated the process over and over again, while hand moved as well at a slow pace that was tormenting, until he found himself looking down into fathomless obsidian depths when Yuri searched for any kind of hesitation or resentment, finding none at all.

He didn't need any other invitation to take a deep breath and swallow the older man whole in a single, delicious slide that made him moan, tighten his grip on Yuri's black mane and buck his hips into the hot wetness that was enveloping him. The swordsman could feel some of his hair parting with his skull, but the pain only invigorated him, urging him to increase the speed in spite of his mind telling him to enjoy it as much as he could.

Coiling his tongue along the promising hardness as his cheeks hollowed and filled with each slide of his mouth, Yuri resisted the temptation, savouring the taste of the other man. He had to apply considerable strength to keep his hips steady, but it was all worth it. The sweet sounds of impending release he was hearing, the warmth of steadily heating body shuddering under his ministrations; it made his own neglected need ache. He reached down to help himself, however Raven immediately gripped his wrist, forbidding him to do so.

Yuri understood and made no more attempts, devoting himself to bringing out as much of the other man's pleasure as possible, knowing he succeeded when the grip on his hair tightened once more and he winced with pain, while his head was being pressed down and the hips he were holding arched up. The youth's lips moved as low as he dared for the last time and the next moment he could hear a loud, eloquent cry and taste nurturing moisture filling his mouth. He wolfed it down, finding it satisfying as well as rather sweet, almost like pancake dough.

It took few more seconds for them to pull themselves together again, and Yuri sat up on his heels, watching Raven's chest heaving with quick, shallow breaths, his eyes shut tight and body still shivering. He looked very handsome like that - sprawled over the sheets, exhausted and spent, hermes blastia glowing mildly against bronzed, scarred skin softly illuminated by the small flame of a single lantern. At that moment Yuri realized all the emotions he locked up to bring this sight out, coming back at crushing speed, sweeping his mind like a tidal wave, heart once again throbbing painfully, and suddenly he wanted nothing more than to just leave and get some time alone.

He could not allow himself to get close to somebody like this. He would not be hurt again. He would not _hurt _again.

"You okay there, old man?" he asked, gathering his clothes, scattered all over the place.

The archer heaved a great sigh, making an attempt to move, but failing miserably. "Nah, think I died and gone ta heaven." he turned his head despite the dull headache and frowned at seeing Yuri dressing up. "Where're ya goin' at this hour? Ya should go get some sleep like a good kid."

Yuri chuckled, turning around while fastening his belt. "You sound even more perverted saying that to someone who just gave you a blowjob." he rested his hand on his hip, scrutinizing Raven, still lying naked on the bed, head propped with his elbow, gaze sharp and all pretence gone.

"What? There's no need for me to stay anymore, since you're obviously all better." he waved his hand. "See you, old man."

But as he reached for the doorknob, something pressed against his back and he found himself pinned against the hard wood, Raven's heated body covering his own, chin resting against his shoulder and arms wrapped tightly round his chest and waist to prevent him from moving.

"You're not fooling anyone with this, Yuri." his voice was deep and husky, but not like that of a lover, and the sound of his name made Yuri momentarily freeze, which the archer properly exploited, grabbing his hands and turning the younger man around, this time pressing him against a cold wall.

Though smaller in height, Raven still somehow dominated over the swordsman and what Yuri saw as their gazes met, was not what he expected. Sea-blue eyes narrowed, fierce and burning with resolution sprinkled with sadness, like he had seen only very few times; jaw firmly set without even a hint of that ever-present perverted smile of his and sleek, black hair curtaining his face, hiding one of those austere, blue orbs from view. At that moment, more than anything else, it reminded Yuri of that fateful battle within Baction all those years ago, when they stood against the First Captain of the Imperial Knights, and once again, he didn't see Raven anymore, but Schwann bearing down on him and felt like the gaze could easily pierce his heart, reading him like an open book.

However Yuri had years beyond counting to practice his poker face and now the circumstances weren't any different. He put on the usual smirk, masking his desire to be gone.

"Going all serious on me now, old man?" he glanced up and down Raven's body, eyebrow raised. "Standing here in all your naked glory's ruining it a bit, though."

The archer did not laugh, if anything he looked even sadder than before, which made Yuri somehow even more uneasy. Was there something he didn't know? Well, of course there was. Plenty of things he didn't yet realize about this former knight. They had so much in common, that much Yuri figured out almost immediately, yet they knew very little about each other. And the swordsman couldn't say he weren't comfortable with things being as they were, because getting too close meant hurting and getting hurt in return, and he didn't have the strength to face it all again.

"We're all idiots." Raven's voice was hushed and somewhat distant when he spoke after only a few heartbeats, though it might as well have been an eternity. "But I believe everyone can get over it, if given proper encouragement." sea-blue eyes rose again to meet their deep, black counterparts and smile waned from Yuri's pale mien. "You wanted to know why I was on that roof, I'll tell you." Raven let go of the swordsman's wrists, shambling to find his pants and putting them on very slowly, thinking hard of where to start.

He wasn't good with talking about his life, he felt ashamed of it and always feared people would think less of him if they knew; wouldn't want to have anything to do with him. But Brave Vesperia had given him a lot of important lessons about friendship he had already forgotten over the decade of being a dead man. And now, his mind still a little clouded with all the alcohol just before the hangover of the morning takes over, he reasoned it's finally time to come out.

He dropped down onto the bed, assuming his favourite sitting position with his hands resting on his ankles and glanced over the only still functioning blastia in the whole world, shining within his chest.

"Precisely fifteen years ago, I woke up in a lab to find out Alexei saw fit to bring me back from the dead with this thing." he closed his eyes for a moment before opening them again, though not ready to look at the dark-haired swordsman at the door. "Honestly, it scared the hell out of me and the only thing I thought of was to rip it out with my bare hands. Did a good job too, almost killed myself back then." the chuckle that left his lips was humorless. "He saw it and restrained me until I've calmed down enough to listen. Then he explained everything to me and told me he needed me. Asked me to be patient and then dared me to find out enough about blastia to shut it off again if I wished, after my work for him was done, of course. At that time it felt worse than being left for dead, because once I've come to my senses I... I just wasn't able to do it. And he knew I was too much of a coward and took advantage of it but still..."

He took a deep, steadying breath and finally faced Yuri, who stood propped against the doorsill, listening with austere face to the story he wished to hear for long years, if only to understand Alexei a little better now that he was gone. No matter how hard he tried to persuade himself the former Commandant was a power-hungry lunatic, he wouldn't inspire such devotion and obedience from his subordinates if it'd always been so. And Yuri heard a lot about him already from Flynn as well as other friends he had in the Knights, including Raven himself.

"I couldn't do anything to help him, even though I tried. It feels like I failed him and everyone else; like I failed myself. He was good to me, despite what you and everyone may think of him now. He's always been generous, kind and patient and when the Great War came, he just couldn't take it anymore." a small smile curled Raven's lips as he tilted his head a little to the side to take a good look at Yuri. "In fact, before the War, Alexei wasn't much different from you. Always rushing headlong to save anyone he could, not afraid to dirty his hands in the process. I went up there today, because I thought of him. Every year, it all comes back and I don't remember the man he had become, but the Commandant who deserved the respect and loyalty he received. Who still deserves it, despite everything that happened."

Long, heavy silence spread between them at those words, interrupted only by soft sounds of footsteps when Yuri crossed the dimly-lit room towards Raven, maintaining tentative eye-contact. He wouldn't be able to explain why he didn't just say something witty as usual and leave, even if his life depended on it. Perhaps, it just didn't feel like an option at the time. Or maybe he realized hurting or getting hurt long since became just an excuse he made for himself to feel better about the decisions he'd made so far.

However, the sincerity in the archer's voice and the raw _feeling_ seeping from it, broke something within him and he found himself wanting. Unwilling to let go.

Two slim fingers covered Raven's lips when he took a breath to speak again and almost immediately they were replaced by warm softness of Yuri's mouth as the swordsman kneeled on the bed, brushing strands of raven hair out of sea-blue eyes growing wide with surprise. It didn't take long, though, for the old man to follow suit. Whether he was aware of it or not, he reached out, wrapping his arms round the dark, long-haired beauty before him, pulling him down to sit in his lap, growling with discontent when the kiss broke for them to gasp for air, if only for just a moment. Yuri perceived the progress of Raven's hands caressing his skin, copying the sensual curves of his slender, agile body while taking his clothes along the way once more -now much more slowly- to fully appreciate the alluring beauty of it all as well as the anticipation of what was coming next. Either because he found it inspiring in the past or because he simply couldn't fully suppress it, he moaned lustfully into the touch, closing his eyes and tilting his head, listening to a response and moving just enough to make it easier for the archer to explore the whole of him should he wish to. And he certainly did.

Aroused by the sweet sounds far beyond the boundaries of his already undermined self-control, grunt of frustration left Raven's parted lips as he fumbled with the remaining fabric, still hiding away this dark-haired desire demon from his prying eyes and venturing fingers, and that was precisely what Yuri's been waiting for. Without any need for further invitation, he disentangled himself from the archer's embrace, pushing him onto his back, while deliberately brushing against the stone-hard bulge between his legs before claiming his lips for his own, tongue once again slipping past tongue to explore the warm, wet cavern of his mouth.

Raven went pliant under deft hands trailing along his arms, shoulders, chest and abdomen to work on the thin cloth string holding his pants on his hips and arched, enjoying the feeling of soft fabric sliding against his skin as well as smooth pads of long, skilled fingers caressing the round of his bottom and thighs, taking the last thin piece of clothing as they went. Perhaps it was the alcohol still clouding his mind or years of practice that made him accept the change of roles without a single question.

And Yuri's suspicion grew by the second as he carefully examined the lean, tanned body of his old friend and now a new lover too, careful for him not to notice. He wasn't paying quite so much attention to it before, but now he could clearly see and feel all the subtle evidence of ownership in form of oversensitive spots, still not quite healed cuts and scratches lining Raven's hips and the small of his back.

Yuri knew only one person capable of doing such a thing, for these were no marks of battle, and the knowledge together with the reverence with which Raven's been talking earlier made the blood in his veins boil to a point where he just wished he could slash that armour-clad body once more; wipe that demented smile off that pale, pointed face again.

He were brought out of his reverie by a sound of drawer being closed and when he looked at the former knight, the man was holding an ornate bottle made of dark glass. Its contents could not be seen, though the label clearly read.

"Yumanju massage oil?" Yuri paused, for a moment confused, his thoughts still lingering with Alexei and the anger that welled up within him at the thought of what the former Commandant must have done to his second-in-command.

Then it dawned on him and he took the bottle, inclining his head as obsidian eyes darted between the sea-blue ones and the little thing in his hand. "You sure you can handle it, old man?" he asked, sneering to mask his genuine concern.

Raven managed a crooked grin again, though somehow altered with the unmistakable flush of lust now overpowering him. If he could see through the pitiful sham, he did not let it show. "Humor me. If not, at least I'm gonna die happy."

That and the fact that it was no turning back now, even if he wanted to, was enough to drive out all the remaining reason Yuri might still have left, causing him to instantly forget everything else, except the feeling of lips moving over his own when the older man pulled him into a deep, passionate kiss that left them both breathless. Deftly, loosing himself in the moment, the young swordsman poured a bit of the greasy, sakura-fragrant substance into his palm, coating at least three of his fingers, not caring in the slightest for some of it dripping onto the sheets. With this single quick motion, he shoved the bottle away as well as ran his other hand along Raven's inner thigh, throwing his left leg over his shoulder and reaching down to the sweet spot he gained access to.

The archer's breath hitched, and it made Yuri pause for a single heartbeat, his mind snapping out of the sweet, heated haze - he could tell immediately this wasn't the man's first time this way, and thus his suspicions were confirmed. However, fingertips brushing against the neglected hardness between his own legs washed away all doubts like a tsunami, sweeping away everything in its path. He let out a guttural growl, his hand moving on its own accord as first slim, long finger slid into the tight heat, unbelievably easily.

Raven's hermes blastia glowed brightly to compensate for the adrenaline that rushed through his veins when he moved his hips at the same time he gripped Yuri more firmly, sliding along the leaking length and up again several times, until another finger penetrated him which caused his grip to tighten once more, wordless pleas flowing out of his parted lips as a third one joined in, moving and scissoring to find the place that would make him cry out his tormentor's name.

And indeed it had, Yuri knowing precisely where to touch to get the appropriate reaction. If he were conscious of anything else except the man beneath him, he would probably agree the sound had to wake the whole place up. Circumstance as they were, however, he couldn't care less, drawing out yet more of that soothing voice. He felt he wouldn't be able to hold back for much longer, crooking his fingers one more time before sliding them out and brushing Raven's hand away before hoisting his lower body to get the right angle, while bending over the older man, assaulting his lips at the same time he claimed him with the most delicious, swift slide, burying himself deep within.

Impossibly tight heat enveloped him and the sensation itself almost pushed him over the edge. Moaning silently into their mingled breath, Yuri managed to somehow restrain himself, taking a little while to adjust and the build-up tension to fade slightly, before pulling out and thrusting back in at full stretch, though now considerably more slowly.

Fingers winded through his long, black hair while Raven's other hand gripped tightly the white bed sheets, seeking purchase as the slender youth increased his pace, fascinated by the only remaining fully functional legacy of the ancient blastia civilization, shining more brightly now than the old oil-lamp on the table ever could, bathing their joined bodies in its pink light.

With each crush of their hips, the sound of flesh against flesh filled the room, loud cries of pleasure echoing through the hot, heavy air redolent of sex. Yuri's movements soon became wilder and more erratic by the second, whether he wanted or not, though by that time he had stopped thinking entirely, giving in to the exquisite pleasure of lean lines of muscles shifting beneath soft, tanned skin and agile, pliant body writhing underneath him.

He listened to Raven's voice, feeling the climax approaching rapidly and before he knew what happened and why, strong electric charge paralyzed his limbs, short-circuited his nerves and he hissed through gritted teeth, bending over his lover, black hair spilling across heaving chest, covering brilliantly glowing blastia heart.

It had taken no more than another strangled murmur of praise for the raven-haired archer to stiffen as well, though from his lips came out a cry the likes of which could wake even the dead as he arched up, tugging at the other's dark mane and spilling violently over their abdomens.

Panting heavily, breathless and utterly spent, they both collapsed in a tangle of limbs; their slick, sweaty bodies slid onto the once snow-white bed sheets. For what seemed like long minutes, they just lay there, resting in the afterglow of their coupling, enjoying every single bit of it, until it completely faded away, prompting Yuri to raise his head -despite the whole of his body protesting against any kind of movement- looking into the slits of Raven's sea-blue eyes.

"You sure enjoy your stuff, old man. It's a wonder the whole Dahgrest isn't storming this place by now." he propped his head on his elbow, smirking.

Raven sighed and shrugged. "Oh, well, what can I say? My voice's always been one o' my best assets!"

"Your only asset, you mean." Yuri retorted provocatively, watching the older man's brows knit together in a hurtful frown.

"Hey, be nice!" he turned his head, but Yuri reached with his hand to grab his stubble-covered chin and yanked it back, connecting their lips again in slow, delicious kiss.

It took what felt like ages for them to separate again, though only to gasp for air. "What was that for?"

Yuri did not answer immediately, only his cheeks flushed slightly. "No reason." he croaked out finally, pushing himself up to get out of the bed.

Fingers wrapped firmly around his wrist as he did so, pulling him back down and this time it was he whose back were pressed against the warm, wet sheets with smaller, thought slightly broader figure looming over him, pinning him down with unexpected strength. And once again it were Schwann's eyes that scrutinized him as he dared to look up.

He couldn't take it for some reason, remembering the swirl of thoughts rushing through his head just before all of this deafened and blinded him, but his gaze betrayed him, sliding for a brief moment along Raven's hip and thigh, where he first saw Alexei's handiwork blossoming on bronzed skin.

"I see." Raven said only, releasing the boy, though still straddling him as he straightened up on his knees. "But it's not what you think. _He_ never did anything I wouldn't want him to." he turned a little more to show fresh, red markings adorning his skin, where Yuri's fingernails involuntarily dug into the round of his bottom. "He never was a gentle man in bed, just like you and frankly, I prefer a bit of a rough treatment myself."

Yuri opened his mouth, face red with embarrassment, for he couldn't recall how and when he made those marks, but no sound came out. It made Raven laugh and he pressed his body against the pale one underneath him, capturing those sweet, rosy lips yet again with his own in a wordless assurance that all is as it should be.

At least for now.

* * *

><p><strong>The cheesy ending kinda sucks... =3<strong>


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